how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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