do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
