he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
