now i know why i became what i already was.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
