alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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