I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
