found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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