Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 815FFEMT hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal

Fav 19 6461 2188
share tweet
(361): View more from Texas

I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character

Fav 8 3899 1393
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.

Fav 9 4527 1214
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

Fav 6 2404 1445
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

Fav 17 3187 1249
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

Fav 5 2445 1028
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

Fav 2 2302 1245
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

Fav 6 1368 612
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem

Fav 1 397 260
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT