I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
