are you still at the devil's house?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
