I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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