If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
