You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
