How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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