Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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