I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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