I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
