I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
