She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
