He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
