Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
