Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize