It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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