hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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