no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
