The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
