WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
