Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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