I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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