Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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