I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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