Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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