remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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