look no pants
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
