tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
