The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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