Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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