just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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