the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
