trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
