I'm so fucking centered right now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
