I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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