Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
