ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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