All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
