Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
