i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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