he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
