so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
