Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
