Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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