I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
