I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
